A Found Love
by ViolinFire14
Summary: Kathryn Janeway's feeling for Chakotay are re-surfacing again. She has been acting strange around Chakotay. What she doesn't know is that Chakotay has noticed. What will he do? Will Kathryn tell Chakotay how she feels? Will the mischevious Tom Paris and Harry Kim get involved? Very J/C
1. Alone

_**Author's Note: Hey guys. This is now my second fanfic! I hope you all enjoy it. Feel free to review. All comments are welcome.**_

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_**A Found Love**_

_**Kathryn's P.O.V**_

The glowing stars of the night were shining through the empty, lifeless mess hall window. I was sitting there on the soft, black leather sofa, staring out into the starry sky. Alone. My legs were stretched out in front of me.

Lately things have been awkward between me and Chakotay. I couldn't stop staring at him on the bridge this month. He caught me once or twice. How embarrassing... I'm pretty sure I've caught Chakotay staring at me too.

I had just finished my long, tiring shift on the bridge early. I left 30 minutes ago. I needed some time alone. To think. To get away from Chakotay. There was only one problem... I couldn't stop thinking about him. Oh how I love his broad shoulders; strong, secure arms; the tattoo that lies on his left temple; his soft, deep brown eyes.

I don't think I can deny my feelings any longer. I think I... I think I love him. Wrong! I know I love him. I need him. I've loved him since the day I first laid eyes on him. If only... No! I can't do that to the crew. I need to stay focussed and get them home. I promised them! Protocol. How I hate that word! What if I lose him? No, either way I can't have Chakotay.

I stayed sitting there. Silently. Only hearing the rumbling, hard-working engines of Voyager. Feeling the comfortable pitch black, leather sofa underneath me. Trapped in my scattered thoughts. Only thinking of Chakotay, the crew and... home.

Warm, fresh, salty tears started escaping my eyes, trickling down the soft, pink flesh of my cheeks. Burning wet tracks along the cold skin. Alone... All alone... Alone...


	2. Thinking

_**Author's Note: Well, here's chapter 2. Please review and enjoy! :)**_

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_**Chakotay's P.O.V**_

_Kathryn... My dear sweet Kathryn. _I sat there. In the black, leather command chair on the bridge. Staring at the view screen. Not paying any attention to what was going on around me, not noticing the bright, white stars on the view screen. Ignoring the whispers of the gossiping crew on the bridge. All I could think about was Kathryn. The way her beautiful auburn hair glows in the light. Her gentle but confident smile, How her soft, petite hands fit in mine perfectly. _Kathryn..._

My shift was going to end in 10 minutes. Kathryn decided to leave the bridge half an hour ago. It's not like her. I'm very worried about her. She has been acting strange lately. I have sometimes caught her staring intently at me, only for her to awkwardly turn away from my gaze when I face her. She has also been avoiding me a bit. For example; when on the bridge, she hurries to her ready room without saying a word. In the turbo lift, if I'm there she would just say 'Hello commander' and it's silent for the rest of the ride.

At the end of my shift I am going to look for her. I need to talk to her about this. To make sure she's alright. _Kathryn..._

_**Tom's P.O.V**_

I turned around in my pilot's chair to face Harry, who was busy focussing on his task. "Hey Harry" I whispered. "What's up with Chakotay?"

"I'm not sure Tom. Maybe he's just tired." Harry replied.

"Do you think he's thinking about the captain?" I asked him.

"I don't know Tom. Maybe he's just worried about her" Harry said, as he worked on his station.

"You two should not be discussing the command team on duty" a familiar, low voice said, interrupting their conversation.

"Sorry Tuvok" Harry and I said together. I quickly turned back around in my chair and focussed on the task at hand.

_**3**__**rd**__** Person P.O.V**_

Meanwhile... In the mess hall... Kathryn Janeway had fallen asleep. There was an occasional twitch that occurred through her body as she dreamt away. Her facial expression was fear.


	3. A Nightmare!

_**Author's Note: Thank you all for those who have reviewed :) Hope you guys enjoy chapter 3!**_

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_**Chakotay's P.O.V **_

"Computer. Locate Kathryn Janeway" I said quickly.

"Kathryn Janeway is in the mess hall" replied the monotone, female voice.

I have already tried contacting Kathryn several times. Every time she didn't answer. I could only hear static. I really hope she's ok.

I walked through the long, grey halls of Voyager. Crewmen were here and there. A few hellos were said as we passed each other. I was practically running to the mess hall. Worry was evident all over my face. I need to speak with her.

I approached the large, metallic, silver doors and quietly entered the empty place. It took a few moments to adjust to the dull darkness. I saw a black figure slightly illuminated by the many, bright stars speeding past. It was Kathryn. Her body was rising up and down steadily as she breathed in a calm rhythm. She must be sleeping. Slowly. I quietly approached her still form, tiptoeing across the rough, grey carpeted floor, making sure that I didn't disturb her.

I knelt down beside her and gently turned her small frame to face me. I could see the tear stains on her cold, damp, blotchy cheeks. Her body twitched a few times. _She must have cried herself to sleep. What's wrong Kathryn?_

Suddenly! Her small, vulnerable looking body started to writhe, twist and turn as she fearfully yelled my name twice.

I gently placed my hand on her small shoulder and shaked her after she had settled slightly. "Kathryn. Kathryn. Wake up" there was no response... "Come on Kathryn! Wake up!" I was starting to get highly worried. Eventually, she finally started to open her beautiful, blue eyes.

"Chakotay" she said as she slowly came out of sleep.

"Yes Kathryn. I'm here" I replied.

"I have to... I have to tell you something" she replied, tiredness evident in her voice.

"What is it Kathryn?" That was when she shot up, panting heavily as if she just had a nightmare. She had panic all over her face. She then started to shake as fresh, hot tears started to run out of her eyes. Quickly. I wrapped my arms around her. I tried soothing her by whispering calming words, holding her delicate, small, shaking frame in my arms as I stroked her back.

Eventually she stopped shaking, pulled back and said, "Sorry Chakotay" her voice wavered.

"It's ok. Sshhhh" my tone of voice was soft. "What's wrong?"

_**Kathryn's P.O.V**_

I felt a large, soft, gentle hand covering my shoulder. It started to lightly shake me. I was only barely aware of what was going on. I heard a quiet, distant voice, "Kathryn. Kathryn. Wake up" at first I didn't respond to the voice. "Come on Kathryn! Wake up!" it was after it said that, I began to vaguely realise who the voice belonged to.

"Chakotay" I sleepily said.

"Yes Kathryn. I'm here" I heard him say. I stretched out momentarily, feeling the muscles in my legs pull slightly.

"I have to... I have to tell you something" my voice was full of tiredness. I was still trying to wake up properly.

"What is it Kathryn?" I then remembered the nightmare I had. I suddenly sat up, breathing rapidly as fear and panic coursed through my body, causing me to shake violently. I felt tears dropping out my eyes. Immediately Chakotay pulled me into his strong, secure, warm arms. I could feel his hand moving up and down my back gently in a slow, stroking motion. His voice was soft in my ears, whispering calming words I didn't understand. Somehow the gentle words were soothing.

The nightmare was horrible. I was running from something, down the long, darkened hallways of Voyager. It was a large, black figure chasing after me. All I could feel was fear, panic and pain rushing up and down my body. The crew was staring at me strangely as I carried on running. Ow! I had tripped over something, fallen forward flat onto my face and had scraped my leg on the rough, concrete coloured carpet. The figure was getting closer... closer... and closer... I tried getting up but I couldn't! All I could do was lye here. Useless! I then saw a Borg drone at least 5 steps away from me. It steadily came towards me, stretching out its wired, half metal hand near my neck. _Where's Chakotay? _"CHAKOTAY!" I yelled through desperation. "CHAKOTAY!" My breathing hitched a few times. I felt a dry hand carelessly grabbing my arm. It lifted me up forcefully. I turned to look at who it belonged to. It was...Chakotay?


	4. Reassurance

_**Author's Note: Hey guys. The chapter is now complete! :) I am now usimg line breaks to change the P.O.V. Thank you all for the reviews. I want to give a special thanks to Lcat14, Singing Violin and Aunt Kathy. You three have been a great help. Also thanks again Singing Violin for being my Beta Reader :)**_

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The nightmare ended there, as I was starting to wake up.

Just now, I was in Chakotay's strong arms, my tears falling off my face and running down his back, his uniform absorbing them. My body shook helplessly. I moved my head from over his shoulder into his large chest, finding comfort from it. He started rocking me back and forth.

After a while, I stopped shaking. I let myself rest there, in Chakotay's embrace, for a few minutes. _I feel so safe in your arms, Chakotay. I wish I could just stay like this. _I lifted my head. "Sorry, Chakotay" I said, starting to feel embarrassed.

"It's ok. Sshhhh," he used a soft voice. "What's wrong, Kathryn?"

"It's just... it's nothing, Chakotay." I tried to sound confident but knew that I didn't. I can't tell him how I feel about him.

"Don't, Kathryn. Don't lie to me. Tell me what's wrong so I can help you." I could hear desperation in his voice.

* * *

_Let me help you! _She then went on to tell me about her nightmare. I was speechless. I was shocked. Surprised even. "How are you feeling?"

"I'll be ok, Chakotay. I just have a lot on my mind."

"Would you care to enlighten me?"

The moment I said that, she did something.

Slowly she started leaning in, inch by inch getting closer. Her lips captured mine in a soft kiss. At first I was stunned, but it wasn't long before I started to her kiss back. At first it was light and gentle, until it became fiery, passionate, and full of love that was built up over the years. Her lips parted, giving me the chance to slide my tonuge between her petal-soft lips. Our tongues started battling for dominance. It was magical.

* * *

_What the hell am I doing? _I broke the kiss once I realized what I was doing. _Oh no._ "Sorry, Chakotay" I stood up and hurried out of the dark, gloomy mess hall and into the brightly lit corridors of _Voyager._ I never looked back once, just left Chakotay behind.

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I silently watched her leave. I was momentarily stunned at her actions, confused, and not sure if I should go after her or not. _Kathryn...Don't leave... _I then stood up from the rough ground. I walked out of the large, grey doors of the mess hall, and they hissed shut behind me. I decided to head straight to my quarters and talk to her in the morning. I ignored everyone who passed me in the barely occupied corridors.

* * *

I entered my quarters, kicking my black-heeled boots off my feet while not caring where they ended up. I threw off my red uniform jacket. I grabbed a random book and headed straight to into bed with the cluttered thoughts of tonight consuming my mind mercilessly.

I didn't sleep much last night. My body wouldn't stop twisting and recklessly turning, causing it to get tangled in the bed sheets, while I thought about Chakotay. The events of last night wouldn't leave my distraught mind. They kept replaying in my mind like a broken record. Why did I kiss him? I don't know. I don't know why I let my feelings take over.

I looked over to my left at my alarm clock. What?! I can't believe I slept in. Again! It was 09:00 hours. That's twice this week. If I keep this up, then the crew will start to get worried. I was an hour late for my shift on the bridge. "Janeway to Tuvok."

"Tuvok here. What can I do for you, Captain?"

"Report to my Ready Room in 20 minutes."

"Aye, Captain."

* * *

I woke up this morning to the light whimpers and distressed moans travelling through the battered bulkhead that separates our quarters. I desperately wanted to go to her, to reassure her, to comfort her-but at the same time, I knew that if I went to her, she would feel very awkward and might push me away. So instead, I just lay there. Feeling helpless.

I rolled over to look at the clock, its numbers blazing a fiery red. It was 05:00. I still had ages until I was due on the bridge for my shift. Until I had to sit beside Kathryn.

I grudgingly got out of bed. The sheets were scattered in a careless mess, pillows thrown everywhere. I gathered a soft, white towel and headed towards the bathroom. I turned on the sonic shower. Hot steam rose and surrounded me, making it hard to see properly. I took off my clothes and walked into the burning water. It pelted against my skin like bullets, and ran down my body, reminding me of Kathryn's tears that trailed down my back while being absorbed into my uniform last night. My thoughts devoured my mind as I stood under the intense water.

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I entered the bridge, aware of the stares I got from the surrounding crew. I rapidly headed to my Ready Room, head down, refusing to look at anyone, to look at... Chakotay. I sat down at my small, curved desk and began to read a report on the PADD I had picked up. Moments later, the door chimed. "Come in," I heard the doors hiss open, then close. I looked up from the boring report I was reading.

"You wanted to see me, Captain?" It was Tuvok. My long-trusted friend. He was standing there with a blank expression on his face - _as_ _usual - _patiently waiting for a response.

"Tuvok, I need your advice about something... something personal."

We both walked over to the couch and sat down. I began explaining what happened last night.


	5. Questions, Thoughts, and a Plan

_**Author's Note: Hello fellow readers! Sorry that this chapter took a while. I would like to give a huge thanks to Aunt Kathy. AK came up with the ideas for this chapter and betaed it :) Thank you, AK. Also, thanks to those who have reviewed, followed, faved and read this story! I hope you all enjoy this chapter. **_

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I exited the cramped turbo lift and entered the quiet, tense bridge. Nobody said a single word. Nobody looked up. The only sounds I heard was the soft tapping of fingers on the consoles and the beep of the consoles in compliance.

Empty. I looked at the empty captain's chair, unable to tear my eyes away. _Where is she? Is this the result of last night? Could she be stalling to come to the brdge because of me? Have I done anything wrong? _I frantically thought. No words were needed. I sat down and decided to wait for her to turn up.

Eventually, she showed up. She came through the turbolift doors. I turned in my chair to watch her. Everyone else stopped working and turned to look at their captain. Her head was down, eyes cast towards the ground as she briskly walked to her ready room. I was about to get up to follow her , when Tuvok entered after her instead.

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I was sitting on the couch with my head in my hands. _Chakotay. I can't get you out of my head! Your soft brown eyes are so deep. Damn it Kathryn. Pull yourself together! _I thought to myself. After a few minutes, I managed to control my thoughts for a moment and talk to Tuvok again.

"What should I do, Tuvok? I mean, there are just so many reasons why we can't pursue a relationship."

"May I remind you, Captain, that we are thousands of light years away from home. Our circumstances are unusual."

"I know that bu-" I began, only to have him cut me off.

"Captain, while I understand your reluctance to enter into a relationship with the commander, I feel the need to point out that there is no explicit protocol that forbids a ship's captain from engaging in a romantic relationship with one of their crew. Furthermore, I don't see any reason why you should deprive yourself this chance, as it has been clear for some time now that both you and the commander have feelings of a romantic nature for each other."

"What about the crew? What will they think? They need me to stay focussed and get them home, Tuvok!"

I stood up from the sofa and began to pace. Tuvok came over to me, his footsteps almost silent as he walked over the grey carpet.

"Please listen, Captain. It's logical to conclude, from what you have told me, that you have already stayed focussed despite your feelings for Commander Chakotay. I suggest you reconsider not pursuing a relationship with him."

_I don't know! I just don't know. His lips were so gentle against mine. Damn it! _Tuvok patiently waited for a response. I stopped pacing and cautiously met his gaze.

"I appreciate the advice, Tuvok. I will think about it. Thank you for listening. I truly appreciate it."

"You're welcome, Captain." With those words said, he left.

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I heard the quiet hiss of the ready room doors. Tuvok returned to his work station without saying a single word. _They have taken ages. They must have been talking about what happened between me and Kathryn. So, she can talk to him but not to me? Great. _I thought, angered slightly.

Shortly after Tuvok returned the captain entered the bridge. Immediately, the atmosphere changed, as it had done when she entered the bridge at the start of her shift. It became awfully tense and silent. You could only hear the light breathing of the concentrating crew, the irritating beeping of the consoles and the slight whispers that could be heard of the evidently concerned officers. They were concerned about the captain. _There must have been rumors. I wonder if they were about me and the captain... _

* * *

I was sitting at a table during lunch in the noisy mess hall with Harry and B'Elanna. Everyone else wrapped up in their own conversations. "Hey, B'Elanna. Have you heard what has happened to the captain? People have been saying that she won't talk to anyone."

"Yes, Tom. I have heard rumours that she has been acting strange on the bridge lately. Apparently she is ignoring Chakotay. Is that true? "

"Definitely. She won't say a word to him." Harry said, in between a mouthful of food.

"She hasn't said very much to anyone lately other than Tuvok. Maybe we could do something to get them to talk." I suggested.

"I don't know, Tom. We probably shouldn't get involved. Remember last time? You tried to put a beach party together on the holodeck. The women had to wear bikinis and the men trunks. The captain didn't fall for it." Harry elaborated, although his focus was still on the food in front of him.

"Yeah but it will work this time, Harry. All we have to do is find a way of getting the two of them to be alone with each other for a while. They're going to need to talk about whatever's happened eventually, I'm just suggesting that we...encourage them a little. What do you say, B'Elanna? Harry? Are you going to help me come up with something seeing as you don't like my idea?"

"Okay, but we can't do anything too risky." Harry replied reluctantly.

At that moment, Tuvok approached us. We slowly turned our heads to look at him. He must have heard us. _Great. Now we're in trouble. _

"I would suggest that you cut off their communications in order to get them to cooperate with one another." At that, Harry's mouth fell open, clumsily spilling its contents. B'Elanna spluttered on her hot tea. I went speechless. "As you were," he said and walked off.

"Anyway," I said once we had recovered again, "does anyone have any suggestions?" I asked.

"I might have an idea," replied B'Elanna.

* * *

I patiently waited for the turbolift, expecting it to be unoccupied. I was wrong. I entered it, only to find taht it already contained the captain. I nodded my head in acknowledgement and greeted her stiffly, "Good afternoon, Captain."

"Commander."

_Great, the first time she talks to me and it's to address me by rank. _I thought bitterly. _Well, at least she isn't ignoring me or refusing to say anything._

"Bridge." I said to the computer.

A few silent moments into the ride, the lift suddenly began to tremble slightly. I glanced at her as the gentle tremors progressed and the small capsule began to shake uncontrollably, throwing us both off our feet. We were carelessly thrown to the other side of the lift, right against the cold metal of the bulkhead. I sheilded Kathryn with my body as a few sparks flew across the lift, our legs and arms entangled with each other as we waited for the emergency clamps to engage and the lift to stop. I felt her pull me closer against her, the fear evident in her blue eyes as she looked at me. I held her tightly, hoping desperately that this would not be the last time she was in my arms.


	6. Trapped

**Author's Note: Hey guys! I'm so sorry for the long wait. I have been very busy lately and I only now have the chance to continue with this story. Anyway, I hope u guys enjoy reading, and, as always, reviews are always welcome :)**

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The lift came to an abrupt halt, causing Chakotay and I to tumble to the floor in a heap. I fell on top of him and could feel him hold me tightly, as if not wanting to let go.

For a moment, I was lost in his soft, warm gaze, and my breath caught in my throat as I felt his eyes look right through me. I felt his gentle, large hands protectively holding my shoulders. I could feel his thigh pressing against my abdomen. I could feel the heat radiate between and came to my senses again, scrambling off him and onto my feet, trying not to think about the implications which that moment could have. I saw him do the same, and decided to focus my thoughts on our situation.

"Janeway to the bridge," I could only hear static in reply.

"Janeway to the bridge, please respond." I tried to make my voice more forceful this time. It's no use, communications must be down, I thought, hoping that it was no more than a simple engineering glitch.

"Perhaps there's a power shortage," Chakotay suggested.

"I don't think that would be enough to cause the lift to stop," as I said this, I turned to face him but I didn't look directly in his beautiful brown eyes.

"Perhaps, it was just a simple engineering glitch."

"That's exactly what I was thinking," after that, I said no more and the lift went silent once again.

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For the next hour or so - I was guessing - no words were exchanged between us. The sound of our breathing filled the empty air, our thoughts both preoccupied and sounded loud in our minds.

Maybe. Just maybe. Tuvok is right. Maybe I should pursue a relationship with Chakotay. But the crew. Protocol. But Tuvok said there isn't explicit protocol to forbid me to. Oh. Damn it! I think I...I think I'm scared. I'm scared of...of losing him. Like I lost Justin and Mark. What if he was killed on an away mission. I couldn't bare that. I kept analysing the situation, barely aware of the eyes watching my every movement.

* * *

The deadly silence was starting to anger me. She was just standing there stiffly, her gaze plastered to the exit. For a moment I thought I saw a flash of emotions like confusion or slight fear dance across her face until she hid them behind her mask again. It wasn't long before I saw more emotions flash in her eyes. It looked like anger, fear, pain and...was there something I couldn't identify? How did we get stuck in here? What's going on out there? I thought, frustrated by the way in which she was acting.

"Kathryn. Please talk to me. What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, Commander." Her tone was firm. She loosened up slightly, her shoulders slumping as a sigh escaped her mouth. Great! She's still addressing me by rank, I thought angrily. I feel that she's keeping me locked out, I emmitted a sigh of my own.

"Damn it, Kathryn! Don't do this." I was starting to get frustrated with her. I needed to talk to her about us. "Please. Talk to me," I begged her.

Silence.

* * *

"B'Elanna to the Captain. Please, respond." I waited for a few moments for a response before trying again.

"Captain, please answer." Moments stretched into minutes, until...

* * *

I was quiet for a moment, trying to think of a response. As I then opened my mouth to speak...

"Captain, please answer." B'Elanna's voice ended the silence. I quickly responded by gently hitting the silver combadge on my uniform with my hand.

"Janeway here. B'Elanna, what's going on?"

"One of the gel packs to the lift had become infected. The infection had began to spread by the time we tried to locate the problem."

"Can't you use the transporters?"

"No, Captain. The targeting scanners are misaligned." She simply said.

"Why? Have the routine diagnostics not been happening?"

"We are still currently looking into that."

"How long until you can get us out of here?"

"I would say a minimum of two hours, maybe longer. It depends on how quick we can get these issues fixed."

"Okay, B'Elanna. Janeway out."

The conversation ended there. She carefully turned her head to look at me, irritation evident in her sky blue eyes. She opened her mouth to speak.

"It looks like we're going to be in here a while." Is that all she could say?

* * *

"Kathryn?"

* * *

"I'm sorry, Chakotay." Finally! She hadn't addressed me by rank, I thought, glad to hear my name escaping her delicate, soft lips. I could see the barriers that she had built up for so long begin to crumble away, as if it was a wall crumbling with years of age.

"Kathryn?"

She turned away from me.

* * *

"When should we let them out?" B'Elanna asked.

"Soon. They need more time." Tuvok replied.

* * *

I turned away from him to gather my thoughts. I don't know where to start. Should I even tell him how I feel? What if he doesn't even like me back? What will the crew think? Get a grip Kathryn! Just tell him how you feel. Now is as good as time as any. But...

I weakly stood there, glad he couldn't see the stray tear that had escaped my eye as I tried to quell my emotions. I quickly wiped it away, praying for the strength to stay strong.

I felt a soft, gentle hand touch my tense shoulder. I turned to see him looking at me with concern in his warming eyes.

"What is it, Kathryn?"

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**A/N: I hope u guys enjoyed reading this chapter :)**


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